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First, it gets really, really cold. Then, the grown-ups start acting real nice... and smiling all the time. And that's not the worsest part! One night... he comes!....The scariest guy in the world! Santa Claus! See you are just a little kid and you probably think Santa’s big and fat and jolly and gives you presents! But, that's not what I heard! I heard that Santa's a bad guy. He's always creeping around watching you, keeping track of everything you do. And then, in the middle of the night, he breaks into your house with a big bag full of who knows what. Everyone says he’s got presents in that bag..... Or is that just what he wants you to think?!
So, I’m hanging out with my best friend after school, and we log on to all the latest social networks. We check our My-Space pages, we check our Facebook Pages, and we even tweeted that we were hanging out together working on our geography project. Then, I see I have a new contact wanting to follow me on Twitter… So.. I check them out to make sure it’s not some creeper…the name was BeiberFever72… ok so kind of a lame name but I thought ..what the heck.. let me do some more investigation. So I see who this BieberFever72 is following…. The Justin Beiber Fan Club, The Justin Bieber Tour site, the Betty Crocker Recipe Club, Justin Bieber’s I Heart You…. Wait hold up… Betty Crocker?? Something doesn’t sound quite right…. So I click on their profile to see their picture….IT WAS MY MOTHER! Wearing sunglasses, and a Justin Bieber T-Shirt…She was trying to stalk me on twitter!!! Needless to say I deleted my account… Mom…. Act your age and stick to LinkedIn…
My mommy snores. She says she doesn’t ….but she does! She snores soooooo loud sometimes it sounds like a piggy! (Make piggy sounds) She tries to blame it on my grandpa, but I know it’s her. My grandpa snores like this (soft snoring) But my Mommy snores likes this! (Make snoring sounds as loud as you can!)
My parents? Strict? Naw....I mean once ...my teachers told them I was texting in class... So they took my phone away. Then I got a C on my English paper, so they took TV away. And to top it off I came in past my curfue last Friday so they grounded me for a week. One whole entire week. A long, week without my phone or TV privileges in the house, no one to talk to ...except my mom....I talked to her non stop from the moment I came home until it was time to go to bed. Being grounded only lasted for 3 days, and then she threw the phone at me. Screaming...”I CAN'T take it anymore”...talk to someone who understands what the heck you are talking about!!! So ..yeah...they pretty much let me do what I want
I wish my mom just snored like a normal person. When my Mommy (Daddy)gets really tired...she (he) talks in her (his) sleep. Boy she (he) says some really crazy things! I think it’s because of all the scary TV shows she (he) watches. She (He) should watch TV with me, and then she (he) wouldn’t have crazy dreams and talk all night long! I have tried telling her (him), but you know what parent’s are like...they just won’t listen! (wagging finger like parent would to a child)
Have you guys had “the talk” with your parents yet? You know what I am talking about. THE..talk.. Well in my family we don’t really talk about ...things. When my mom finally sat me down to talk to me about dating.... all she said was don’t ever let a boy touch you, you know where....and she spelled out where...that was it.
But I do remember her and my aunties talking about how I better be careful cause when they all turned 13 they got the “curse”. Well..they kept talking about it like it was something awful.. like some sort of rare disease.
So sure enough...my 13th birthday came... and I could hardly get out of bed for fear of this dreaded curse... well... a week went by and I was still feeling fine.. no sign of this horrible curse...so I went to someone who I trusted, and who I thought could give me some straight answers... no it was NOT my mother..it was the school nurse. I marched right into her office and told her I hadn’t gotten the curse yet. She looked at me and said, you mean to tell me you haven’t gotten your period yet? I scowled at her and said “well of course ...I got my period when I was 11, I’m not a baby... but what has that got to do with this curse!”
Mom you are ridiculous. You tell me not use bad words, but then you use them yourself! OK ok, well you don’t actually say them...you S -P -E –L- L- them. Like hello....earth to mom... you taught me how to read.
In fact, I just won the spelling bee at school, and YOU helped me study for it. So why are you s- p -e l- l -i –n- g out bad words when I am around and you are talking to your friends on the phone? Don’t you think I k-n-o-w what you are really saying? ....
Oh and PS if you don’t give me a raise in my allowance... I am going to tell my teacher, Miss Simpson, you called her a b -i- .... $1.00 a week raise? HA! ....Make it $10.00 ...$5.00?.... DEAL nice doing business with you Mom! You are the B-E-S-T !