TalentInc Canada

Sunday, November 27, 2011

American Idol Wannabe

Lizzie...you have got to help me. I have to find a way to get my mom to STOP
 singing. She sings in the car, she sings while she makes dinner, she even sings
 along with American Idol...... Who wants to see and hear their mom singing....
 (impersonating Beyonce) All The Single ladies ...all the single ladies... All the single
ladies... all the single ladies... and dancing all crazy around the kitchen??!! It’s 
embarrassing. Not to mention she is tone deaf. Her singing sends our dog running 
into the other room. In fact it’s so bad she was kicked off the PTA because the
other mom’s couldn’t stand another karaoke fundraiser with her! So... quick 
Lizzie...You have GOT to help find a way to keep my mom from singing!!!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Sleep Talking

Talking in Sleep
I wish my mom just snored like a normal person. When my Mommy (Daddy)gets really tired...she (he) talks in her (his) sleep. Boy she (he) says some really crazy things! I think it’s because of all the scary TV shows she (he) watches. She (He) should watch TV with me, and then she (he) wouldn’t have crazy dreams and talk all night long! I have tried telling her (him), but you know what parent’s are like...they just won’t listen! (wagging finger like parent would to a child)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Curse

   Have you guys had “the talk” with your parents yet? You know what I am talking about. THE..talk.. Well in my family we don’t really talk about ...things. When my mom finally sat me down to talk to me about dating.... all she said was don’t ever let a boy touch you, you know where....and she spelled out where...that was it.

   But I do remember her and my aunties talking about how I better be careful cause when they all turned 13 they got the “curse”. Well..they kept talking about it like it was something awful.. like some sort of rare disease. 

   So sure enough...my 13th birthday came... and I could hardly get out of bed for fear of this dreaded curse... well... a week went by and I was still feeling fine.. no sign of this horrible curse...so I went to someone who I trusted, and who I thought could give me some straight answers... no it was NOT my mother..it was the school nurse. I marched right into her office and told her I hadn’t gotten the curse yet. She looked at me and said, you mean to tell me you haven’t gotten your period yet? I scowled at her and said “well of course ...I got my period when I was 11, I’m not a baby... but what has that got to do with this curse!” 

Way to go MOM!

Spelling Disaster

     Mom you are ridiculous. You tell me not use bad words, but then you use them yourself! OK ok, well you don’t actually say them...you  S -P -E –L- L-   them. Like hello....earth to mom... you taught me how to read. 

     In fact, I just won the spelling bee at school, and YOU helped me study for it. So why are you s- p -e l- l -i –n- g  out bad words when I am around and you are talking to your friends on the phone? Don’t you think I k-n-o-w what you are really saying? ....

     Oh and PS if you don’t give me a raise in my allowance... I am going to tell my teacher, Miss Simpson, you called her  a  b -i- ....     $1.00 a week raise? HA! ....Make it $10.00 ...$5.00?.... DEAL nice doing business with you Mom! You are the B-E-S-T !