TalentInc Canada

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I AM Snow White?

When I was little...we went to The Magic Kingdom…I went on this ride called “Snow White’s Scary Adventures”   I was only 5 so I was expecting happy adventures with Snow White, a few cute dwarves...singing birds and the occasional old lady with an apple. I got an eerie feeling the moment the ride took off. Where  is Snow White? Where are the Dwarves? It wasn’t until the ride was over that someone told me the ride was supposed to make you feel as if you WERE Snow White… What the???!! I didn’t want to be Snow White. That’s some scary stuff! But there I was, trapped on the ride, crashing into walls and dragged through a dungeon, being constantly tortured by frightening images of the evil witch. I walked off that ride scared, and to be honest…ticked off.  My older brother thought it was funny… he kept laughing at how terrified I was… so he bought me a Princess tiara. Gee…THANKS! Next time I am heading straight for Space Mountain!

Note: This has been performed by both male and female performers with equal success!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Valentine's Day Rules

Well it’s almost that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is almost here, and my teacher is going to once again FORCE me to write a Valentine’s Day card to everyone in my class. I understand that they don’t want anyone to get their feelings hurt, but why do I have to write a Valentine’s day card to the kid who pushed me down at recess, and made fun of me? And am I supposed to really believe that when they give me a card that they REALLLY want to be my Valentine? .... My older sister thinks that this is where kids first learn to lie about their feelings in a relationship. She said it helps us prepare for marriage…. (shrugs shoulders) whatever THAT means!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Tooth Fairy Sanitizer

I lost a tooth the other day, and my mom told me to put it under my pillow and that in the middle of the night the Tooth Fairy would come in and take my tooth and replace it with some cash. OK… so I have some questions and concerns here.

#1)  What does this little tooth freak do with all of these teeth? By my calculations (takes out calculator and begins typing frantically  somewhere in the world a child loses a tooth every .08 seconds… BUT they are not all in the same part of the world… which brings me to …

#2)   How does this little tooth-collecting creep get from place to place? I mean I get how Santa gets around, but at least he has a route…

#3)  If this Fairy is touching other peoples teeth each night… what about the germs? I mean obviously some of these kids are losing their teeth because they don’t take care of them… so …ewwwwww… gross…. This fairy is touching a bunch of nasty teeth and then touching my pillow??

From now on when I lose a tooth…I am leaving some anti-bacterial hand sanitizer under my pillow!